"During your life, try to find what you are good
at and once you found it do not let it go. Find what fulfils your potential and
what makes you happy."
I can only recall my childhood from the last year of
kindergarten on. I used to ask where my
mother was and why I was there. Only later did I learn that I was born in the
sixth month of the pregnancy and my parents thought that I will not survive so
they left me at the hospital. Presumably that was the reason, but this is just
an assumption, I don't know the truth even today, no one has ever told me.
I grew up in a little village in 40 kilometre distance
from Debrecen, in Nyírmártonfalva, in a residential foster home in the Reviczky
Castle. I finished the first two years of primary school there, then we went to
Debrecen. The foster home was in 4 km distance from the village and even there
we rarely went so studying in a big city was a huge difference. Settling in in
the new school was very difficult as the older students used to bully the
younger ones. At the beginning, one
student told me, if I ever got a packet from home, he would surely take that
away from me; I replied I would never get any packet, I had no family and he
suddenly left me alone.
At fourth grade I failed and why? Simply because I
didn't feel like studying. I was not interested in studying, I found it boring.
I was ashamed because I didn't get the red tie, I had to stick to the blue one.
That is what hurt the most. Today, I am very grateful for the teachers who made
me fail because fourth grade was so much easier after, I felt much more clever.
My surrounding also respected my knowledge which was a great source of
self-esteem for me, because I was a shy and quiet child. This was the turning
point, it felt great when I was asked something and I knew the answer.
During high school, I studied at Rajkó Band. I
returned to the foster home and went to the band from there. As I have
mentioned before, the farm was in 4 km distance from the village from where the
bus started to Debrecen. I always had to catch the first bus in the morning,
even in wintertime, walking the way despite the snow and frost through the
forest. Some of my peers used to say how proud they are of me but I always
replied you could also learn and become whatever you want. I do not distinguish
between people, all that matters to me is what one knows and what talent one
has. In the band, I was the kid who everyone felt pity for, but I never wanted
to care about that. I finished high school in Debrecen. I am very grateful to
my tutors and teachers because they always said that I could break out with
studying and I listened to them. Studying has always been very important for
me, I thought of studying as my job.
I have been working in a theatre since the age of 17.
My first experiences were with puppet theatre. When I was a child a puppet
theatre used to come and perform at the foster home. And life led me back to
them. I started to work as an actor at the puppet theatre and we often went
back to the foster home. I got some roles in Debrecen, too, and later on I got
admitted to the University of Theatre Arts. I had been working in theatres for
long years, but at some point I lost my spirit and the magic of theatre
disappeared. Gypsy topic was often came up and of course you can laugh at one
joke or two, but after twenty you get fed up. They could not handle me being
Gypsy.
When I felt that this is too much, I went to America
and started to learn English. At the time, I didn't speak English at all. But I
thought I had nothing to lose so let's go to the US. This was an excellent challenge, I thought.
What did I get from America? I think in Hungary people do not believe in
themselves as much as they should. I believed that "you can do it"
and I came home with a diploma. At the same time, I missed music.
Singing, for me, is something very personal, a part of
the soul, the personality. For me, music
is a connection with higher powers. When
I sing, I am not here, reality ceases to exist and I live in the moment. I can
live and breathe without music but I miss it, I reach my fullest potential with
music. I realized at the age of 9 that I have a good singing voice and I
decided to live on singing. And whereas I did many things to change the plan, I
wanted to become a doctor, started acting, finally, I got back to music.
The post was written by Vivien Balogh based on her discussion with Janó Balogh.
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