Nothing is as important as being happy!

"During your life, try to find what you are good at and once you found it do not let it go. Find what fulfils your potential and what makes you happy."

I can only recall my childhood from the last year of kindergarten on.  I used to ask where my mother was and why I was there. Only later did I learn that I was born in the sixth month of the pregnancy and my parents thought that I will not survive so they left me at the hospital. Presumably that was the reason, but this is just an assumption, I don't know the truth even today, no one has ever told me.

I grew up in a little village in 40 kilometre distance from Debrecen, in Nyírmártonfalva, in a residential foster home in the Reviczky Castle. I finished the first two years of primary school there, then we went to Debrecen. The foster home was in 4 km distance from the village and even there we rarely went so studying in a big city was a huge difference. Settling in in the new school was very difficult as the older students used to bully the younger ones.  At the beginning, one student told me, if I ever got a packet from home, he would surely take that away from me; I replied I would never get any packet, I had no family and he suddenly left me alone.

At fourth grade I failed and why? Simply because I didn't feel like studying. I was not interested in studying, I found it boring. I was ashamed because I didn't get the red tie, I had to stick to the blue one. That is what hurt the most. Today, I am very grateful for the teachers who made me fail because fourth grade was so much easier after, I felt much more clever. My surrounding also respected my knowledge which was a great source of self-esteem for me, because I was a shy and quiet child. This was the turning point, it felt great when I was asked something and I knew the answer.

During high school, I studied at Rajkó Band. I returned to the foster home and went to the band from there. As I have mentioned before, the farm was in 4 km distance from the village from where the bus started to Debrecen. I always had to catch the first bus in the morning, even in wintertime, walking the way despite the snow and frost through the forest. Some of my peers used to say how proud they are of me but I always replied you could also learn and become whatever you want. I do not distinguish between people, all that matters to me is what one knows and what talent one has. In the band, I was the kid who everyone felt pity for, but I never wanted to care about that. I finished high school in Debrecen. I am very grateful to my tutors and teachers because they always said that I could break out with studying and I listened to them. Studying has always been very important for me, I thought of studying as my job.

I have been working in a theatre since the age of 17. My first experiences were with puppet theatre. When I was a child a puppet theatre used to come and perform at the foster home. And life led me back to them. I started to work as an actor at the puppet theatre and we often went back to the foster home. I got some roles in Debrecen, too, and later on I got admitted to the University of Theatre Arts. I had been working in theatres for long years, but at some point I lost my spirit and the magic of theatre disappeared. Gypsy topic was often came up and of course you can laugh at one joke or two, but after twenty you get fed up. They could not handle me being Gypsy.

When I felt that this is too much, I went to America and started to learn English. At the time, I didn't speak English at all. But I thought I had nothing to lose so let's go to the US.  This was an excellent challenge, I thought. What did I get from America? I think in Hungary people do not believe in themselves as much as they should. I believed that "you can do it" and I came home with a diploma. At the same time, I missed music.

Singing, for me, is something very personal, a part of the soul, the personality.  For me, music is a connection with higher powers.  When I sing, I am not here, reality ceases to exist and I live in the moment. I can live and breathe without music but I miss it, I reach my fullest potential with music. I realized at the age of 9 that I have a good singing voice and I decided to live on singing. And whereas I did many things to change the plan, I wanted to become a doctor, started acting, finally, I got back to music.

The post was written by Vivien Balogh based on her discussion with Janó Balogh.