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I did not believe that I can do it


My story dates back to more than ten years ago now. For a long while, I lived in love and harmony with my husband and our daughter, but at some point we realised that we do not walk the same paths and we both started a new life. It was a peaceful divorce and we are on good terms even today.

Shortly, I got to know a special man who accepted my daughter, accepted my Gypsy origin and with whom we planned our future together. I thought that finally, I have made it, but I was mistaken. Our relationship became too difficult, trust was lost and thus we had to let each other go. Let a loved one go is never easy, but this time, the circumstances made it even harder for us. My spare money was in the house that we had built together and where I could not stay any longer with my daughter. I had no home, no money and no partner, I was alone with a little girl. I had to start again from zero. I did not know how I will pull myself together and how I will get a home without any spare money. All I knew was that I must find a solution.

I will never forget what my aunt told me that time: “Panni darling, you are in a shitty situation, and I don’t know how but I’m sure you will work it out.” This gave me enormous power and I decided it’s time to stand up for myself. I started looking for possible solutions, gathering information on what the first steps are and how I can proceed. One of the security guards at my workplace heard my story and he recommended a book, “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay, saying that it had helped him a lot. I started reading it and the book made me realise that I am no victim of the circumstances, I am in charge of my own life and I must act and do something for my future. I had to prove for myself that I am capable of making a home for us. Friends and family helped me a lot, too. So a few months later I slept in my own flat with my daughter. I am grateful for everyone who were there for me and helped me to believe in myself once again.

This post was written by Vivien Balogh, based on a conversation with Anna Németh.


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