Flour or chocolate?

There are many difficult situations in life, and I learned at an early age that humour can help a lot.

My story dates back to my childhood, I was a shy, reserved, quiet little girl.

I grew up in Budapest but most members of my family live in Hodász, therefore I spent a lot of time there. I was bilingual as a kid, I spoke both Romani and Hungarian fluently. My mother taught me to be proud of my Roma heritage. Unfortunately, this does not mean that I have not faced discrimination because of my ethnic background. Often security guards followed us while we were shopping, hence I learned, if I liked something in the shop, I should not touch it but look at it instead.

I remember when I was in kindergarten and I was playing around the climbing frame after lunch. Suddenly one of my mates, a ginger-haired, freckled little boy came up to me and said that Gypsies are not allowed to play at the climbing frame. I was frightened and I did not play there that day. My mom worked near the kindergarten so I did not have to wait long for her to take me home. On the way home, I told her what had happened to me that day. I am sure, it must have hurt her to hear that her only daughter was insulted. Even though she was hurt, she did not show her feelings, just asked: “Shall I speak to the teacher and the boy?” I said no, of course, because I considered myself a big girl who can protect herself. Then something came to Mom’s mind and we agreed – she was not going to talk to them if I would ask a question from the boy the next day. Therefore, the following day I gathered my courage and came up to him and asked: “Which one tastes better, flour or chocolate?”

He was staring at me and said nothing. Neither then, nor after.

Written by Vivien Balogh, based on a conversation with Melinda Vajda